chapter forty-four

It had been a year since I found out that Orpheus killed Saul. I still hadn’t spoken to him, but every week, he delivered a new painting, some portraits of me and others showcasing important memories like those of his friends and family or significant moments of his life. Each painting came with a letter sharing the memories or feelings behind it, a vial of the paint he made from the blood of the men he killed, the blood he collected from them, and their bodies harvested for me in coolers so I could do with what I want of the remains.

I opened the back door to get the latest present from Orpheus. The cooler was on the top step, and as I lifted it, I felt the familiar weight of a body inside. I carried it inside, placing it on the kitchen table. The painting was propped against the wall, and I picked it up, studying the image of a beautiful woman with long, wavy red hair. Her eyes were green and sparkled with life, and she was wearing a dress that hugged her curves. I recognized the woman as Orpheus’s sire, the one who turned him into a vampire.

The letter was tucked into the frame, and I opened it, reading the words Orpheus had written. He told me about his sire, how she took him in and taught him what it meant to be a vampire. He spoke about her kindness and love and how she always made sure he was safe and protected. I could feel the sadness in his words, and I wondered if he ever got to say goodbye to her.

I put the letter down and walked over to the cooler, opening it up to find a man inside. His eyes were wide with fear, and he was shaking, but he was alive. I took out the vial of blood and the identification, looking at the man’s face. He was a rapist, a man who hurt women and children. I could see the evil in his eyes, and I knew Orpheus was right to kill him.

I poured the blood into a beaker, adding a few drops of the soap base I used for my Predator Vs Predator line. I heated the mixture over a Bunsen burner, watching it become a thick, red liquid, then poured it into a bottle, labeling it with the man’s name and the date. I added it to my collection of blood soaps, each one representing a man Orpheus had killed to protect me.

I closed the cooler and dragged it to the basement, storing it with the others. I knew Orpheus was trying to make it up to me, but I couldn’t forgive him for what he did. I couldn’t forget the pain I felt when I found out that Saul was dead and that Orpheus had taken away the man who had been like a father to me.

I walked back upstairs, putting the painting of Orpheus’s sire on the wall. I looked at it for a moment, wondering what she would think of what I’d become. I was not the same girl I was a year ago, not the same girl who was raped and left for dead in an alley. I was stronger now and harder, and I knew I couldn’t let Orpheus back into my life.

I sat down at the kitchen table and my thumb rubbed at the skin of my pointer finger. I knew Orpheus was trying to make it up to me, but I couldn’t forget what he did. I couldn’t forgive him for taking away the man who had been like a father to me. I’d never be able to trust him again, and I knew that he’d never be able to understand why.

But I couldn’t let him go, either. I couldn’t let him think that he was alone in this world, that he had no one who cared about him. So I kept accepting his gifts, his paintings, and his blood, and I’d use them to create something beautiful. I’d use them to create a reminder of the man I loved, the man who betrayed me, and the man who would always be a part of me.

I picked up the letter again, rereading the words Orpheus had written. I could feel the love and regret in his words, and I knew he’d never be able to make it up to me.

I was leaving the restaurant with Hadrian, deep in whispered conversation with him, when I felt his hand take mine. His grip was gentle but firm as he pulled me towards him and turned my body slightly toward his.

“Ness,” he said, his tone serious as he brought his phone screen to my view. “Look.”

Intrigued, I peered at his phone screen, my brows furrowing as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. It was a live video feed, but instead of Hadrian’s face, I was looking at my own living room. In the dim light, a figure moved silently, like a ghost drifting through the shadows.

Orpheus.

My breath caught in my throat, and a chill ran down my spine. What was he doing in my house, alone and looking… so lifeless. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since the day he left his heart with me. It had been a year of solitude, with no contact from him except for the paintings and letters he delivered.

Hadrian must’ve sensed my shock as he continued, “He’s been in your house for hours, moving like a phantom. He doesn’t seem to have any intention of leaving.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Orpheus, my mysterious, enigmatic lover, was in my home, and I had no idea. A sudden wave of concern and compassion washed over me, overwhelming the lingering anger I felt towards him.

Hadrian seemed to sense my turmoil as his grip on my hand tightened. “Vanessa,” he whispered, “I’m worried about him.”

My gaze flickered back to the live feed, watching as Orpheus moved gracefully through my living room, seemingly oblivious to the cameras Hadrian had installed. He stopped in front of the bookshelf in my lab, his fingers reaching for the small wooden box where I had placed his heart.

“The heart,” Hadrian murmured, his voice heavy with understanding. “He wants it back.”

Fury ignited within me. How dare he take his heart back from me? How dare he just come into my house and try to take what was mine?

“He can’t just take it back!” I hissed, wringing my hands in frustration. “It’s mine!”

Hadrian gently squeezed my hand. “I know, Vanessa,” he said softly. “But he’s hurting. He’s lost without his heart, and I think he’s trying to mend himself.”

I couldn’t help but feel a sense of guilt. Orpheus had indeed been lost since that day I shattered his heart, his usual vibrant spirit replaced with a haunting emptiness. Yet anger still burned within me, fueled by his betrayal.

“Let’s go,” I said, my voice steely with determination. “I’ll get my heart back.”

Adrenaline surged through my veins as I yanked my hand free from Hadrian’s and sprinted towards the parking lot, my mind already calculating the route to my house. I could hear Hadrian’s footsteps pounding behind me, but I didn’t slow down. I had to confront Orpheus to make him understand that he couldn’t just take back what he had given me.

I jumped into my car, ignoring Hadrian’s protests as I started it up and sped off into the night, the live feed from the tracker he had installed in Orpheus’s phone guiding my way. He was headed towards the outskirts of town, a place known for its seclusion and darkness.

Where could he be going? What was he planning?

I gripped the steering wheel tightly, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and anger. The closer I got, the more I realized how reckless my actions were, but it was too late to turn back.

My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, fears, and unanswered questions. As the miles flew by, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was losing control and I was teetering on the edge of something dangerous and unknown.