Chapter 17

“I’m sorry,” Silas said as he twirled a strand of my hair between his fingers. He brought me back outside to watch the sunset and get some fresh air. Ever since the day when he found me buried in the makeshift nest I created in their guest room, it seemed like he wouldn’t leave me alone. He became my shadow, always there when I woke and the last thing I’d see before going to sleep. He never slept in my bed, judging by the faded scent on the sheets, but he was always there before I woke up, there to greet me for the day. I liked being taken care of for once instead of being the one taking care of others. It felt nice.

“For what?” I asked, my voice soft as the wind that teased my hair. The summer was starting to heat up and while the heat wasn’t my thing, I could handle it if Silas was there. He was good at distracting me, especially when I felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t looking at me directly, but I noticed he was watching my facial expressions from the corner of his vision.

“School. I’m sorry I let my friends be such assholes to you. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you sooner.” He said. I looked away, my lips tucking in to make a line on my face.

“No, you’re not,” I said after a moment of silence. “You’re sorry you didn’t notice me in the way you notice me now. You’re sorry you didn’t know I was an omega.” I said slowly, feeling the words coming out of my mouth as I said them. It was true, however. Silas was always leaving Gideon and Xavier to do whatever they wanted as long as they left him out of it. Sure, I’ve seen Silas be extra sweet to omegas, but he could care less outside of being friendly to others, tolerant to his friends, and sweet to omegas. He wasn’t even the star of gossip and never the one to be spreading gossip, as far as I could tell.

“I don’t fault you for it, though. I was taking the pills daily. No one even knew I was an omega. Not even Nick. I’m pretty sure Gideon found ou-“ I started before the words stopped dead in their tracts as I realized what I said and to who.

I felt Silas freeze, and my stomach dropped. I really hope he didn’t want to throw me out. He was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time, someone who had seen me and wanted to see me. I didn’t think I could go back to cold days and colder nights, even on the hottest of days. Back to the dark, without any warmth or comfort. Silas’ comfort had been a blessing. He even promised me he would go to the cemetery with me to see if I could find my mom’s spirit. I could go alone, but it would be so much harder. I guess I could move out tomorrow, go back to the house, and start getting it cleaned out. If I finish before school starts, I could go and get a room somewhere, or worse comes to worse, buy some camping supplies and set up camp somewhere.

Silas’ smooth face rubbed against mine throwing me out of my spiraling thoughts. His purr erupting from his chest vibrated my back, grounding me even more in his arms. When he realized I was with him, he gently turned me in his lap so I could straddle him. He took his hand to hold my chin in place.

“There you are. Now… How did Gideon find out?” He crooned, his eyes giving nothing away didn’t do anything for my anxiety. His other hand went to support my lower back, and I’m assuming to keep me in place.

“H-he went do-down on me the last week of school. He found me crying and stayed with me as I slept. When I was sleeping, I missed my suppressant dose, and he got a full lungful of pre-heat hormones. He couldn’t help himself, and I couldn’t either.” I said, my voice getting quieter as I went on until I was talking under my breath.

Silas’ eyes searched mine and what he found, I’m not sure if he liked or not because he growled low in his throat and his eyebrows frowned.

“You. Are. Mine.” His rumbling growl snarled out. “Understood?”

My eyes widened, and I could practically feel the slick start to drip from me. I nodded slowly. His fingers tightened on my chin to hold me in place. He took a deep breath, and I knew he could smell me.

“I know your body is saying yes, but I need you to verbally tell me, Xiomara.” His alpha bark is woven into his order.

“Yes. I’m yours, Daddy.” I said without thought but immediate remorse. My face was on fire as I moved his fingers away from my face and shoved myself into his chest so he couldn’t look at me.

He chuckled, “Daddy? I like that.” He started to use the now free hand to start playing with my hair again, petting down any strays that decided to go their own way back into submission.

The embarrassment brought some clarity to my omega-fogged brain.

“Why now? You never even asked me out, never mind the claim you just laid out.” I asked, trying to pull back slightly. I didn’t want a fucking knotthead to claim me simply because it’s biology.

“I never noticed you before, and that is my fault. I should have been paying attention more because if anyone were paying even a tiny sliver of the amount of attention I am now giving you, you would be some other asshole’s omega and unattainable to me. I should have locked you down years ago, and I’m sorry I didn’t.” He said, ending his words with a deep sigh.

“I would like to be your alpha if you let me.” He added, his grip tightening slightly around me before relaxing as if he didn’t mean to do that at all.

It was too sudden to commit or even say I’d like to commit to something of this magnitude. I loved the way he takes care of me, I loved the way he smells and I did want to try something with him. But after Nick and my parents? I couldn’t get a break and this was definitely not a break. However, it was something I could control, unlike the other recent events.

“I want to try,” I said suddenly, surprising both of us. “I wanted to give us a try, and by my next heat, if we are still solid, I’ll consider bonding with you. But until then, I’m happy to be your omega.”

The smile he gave me was so bright I couldn’t help but mirror it. He leaned in and kissed me. He tasted just as he smelled—like apples and cinnamon, but with his joy mixed in, he was sweet as apple pie. He ran his tongue across my bottom lip to ask permission to enter, which I gave him access to immediately.

When he pulled away, he looked like a wreck as I felt.

“If you need a pack, Mara, I’m happy to provide. But remember, I was your first alpha, and you will be my only partner. I’m a possessive asshole, so if you need a pack, you bet I’ll shape up those mutts so they are even worthy of your presence and, even more so, your time. Because you are everything to me, and I will not have you picking any old fuck off the street. As for Gideon, if you still desire him to be yours, I’ll make it so.” He said, resting his cheek on my head, tugging me to be as close as possible to him. He looped his arms under mine to hold tight to my waist.

“All you ever need to do is ask me, Love.” He added with a rumbling purr. I could feel my body melting into his body, feeling completely and utterly safe here, like nothing ever bad could happen to me while I was here breathing in his apple cinnamon scent.

I didn’t know if I wanted Gideon; he knew exactly how to work my body and was a comfort I desperately needed at the time, but he had never been even a hint of kind to me before. But knowing that if I or my omega needed another person in our pack, just knowing I wouldn’t lose Silas took a weight off my shoulders, I didn’t realize I had. I knew if I had to and I got to stay with Silas, I would have made it work between just the two of us. The very fact there was anyone interested in me was a miracle. I would never have chanced him leaving me for silly instincts. Silas was the first and only alpha to ever want me on my own. How could I ever jeopardize that?

“Thank you,” I mumbled into his shirt.

“Thank you…” He trailed off teasingly, and my face turned bright red again at the implication of what he wanted me to say.

“Thank you, D-daddy.” I said so fast I knew if he didn’t know what I was already saying, he probably wouldn’t have caught a single word.

“Better.” He chuckled, rubbing his face against mine. “We’ll work on it, love.”

I’m not sure who leaned in and kissed who, but I don’t think it even mattered. He was gripping my hair tight in his fist as he held me close. He ran his tongue teasingly against mine before giving my lips a sharp nip, and I wasn’t sure if he actually broke the skin or not.

He used the handful of my hair to pull my head back roughly to bare my neck to him without having to prompt me. I could feel him zero in on my bonding gland, and the harsh suck he gave it made it throb deliciously, desperately trying to entice the alpha to bite through it.

“Oh, that looks lovely.” He purred as he looked at the mark he just made, still not letting my hair go to keep me in the position.

“Was that necessary? Your mom is going to definitely say something.” I said, rolling my eyes. He was forcing me to look at the ceiling of the porch, and I was tempted to just start counting the spiders hanging out in the cracks to stay in touch and not let my brain fog again. I knew if he kept putting me in that mindset, I’d most likely be bonded by the end of the week and never last for the next two months.

“Oh, she could say whatever she wants. I want the world to know you are letting me be your alpha, her included.” He chuckled against my throat. “If she has anything bad to say, I’ll move out. I’m of age anyway.”

He licked the flat of his tongue up to my ear, letting my head see straight ahead again. “We will have to get a room anyway for your heat before we head back to school. I’m going to make you scream my name so loud you won’t be able to speak at all once your heat ends.” He said, nipping my earlobe.