Chapter 61

The darkness swallowed me whole, pressing against me like a second skin, suffocating and alive. The shadows, restless and eager, coiled and slithered around me, whispering in that twisted, hissed voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

“Your truth… face it… or be consumed.”

The words cut through me, a shiver racing down my spine as the scene around me shifted. The cold, dark emptiness shattered, replaced by a dimly lit room that felt familiar and foreign at the same time. My heartbeat quickened, and I realized I was standing in the living quarters I shared with Silas, only everything was warped. The shadows stretched too long, the light from the candles barely holding them at bay, flickering like they, too, were afraid.

At the center of the room was Silas, his honey eyes dull and filled with confusion. He sat on the couch, fingers fidgeting with a book he wasn’t reading. He looked up, and even though I knew it wasn’t real, the raw pain in his eyes stole my breath.

“You’re always hiding,” he whispered, the sound crackling as if coming from a broken speaker. “Always pretending to let me in, but never letting me see.” His voice was hollow, echoing with an unfamiliar sharpness. “What are you so afraid of, Mara? That I won’t love you if I see what you’re hiding? Or are you afraid that I will?”

I took a step forward, reaching out, but my hand faltered mid-air as the shadows shifted again, and my father emerged from the darkness behind Silas, his smile sharp and cold.

“Like father, like daughter.” He hissed mockingly.

A surge of anger burned through me, hot and fierce. “I don’t hurt Silas! I’m nothing like you!” The words came out as a snarl, defiance in every syllable. My fists clenched, and I stood taller, meeting his eyes with a glare that could cut.

My father’s expression didn’t falter; instead, it twisted into something crueler. His voice was laced with venom, soft but slicing. “You think you’re different, better. But you hurt him just the same. You bleed silence and secrets, and he suffocates in them. Just like your mother suffocated in mine.”

The blow landed harder than any physical strike, knocking the breath from my lungs. I staggered back as if he’d reached into my chest and twisted. The room seemed to close in around me, the shadows writhing with approval, their whispers morphing into a mocking chant.

Silas looked at me again, but this time, his face was shadowed, the pain twisting into something like resignation. “I would have taken it all, you know,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Every secret, every dark part of you. But you never gave me the chance.”

The guilt consumed me as I staggered back, my chest heaving as the shadows around me writhed, feeding off the storm inside me. My father’s voice cut through the silence, cold and triumphant. “You think holding back keeps you safe? It only keeps you alone. Just like me. Look at him, Mara. Watch as he fades into the darkness you’ve built around yourself.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes away as the Silas in front of me dimmed, his outline blurring, fading into the dark. Panic surged through me, hot and fierce. “No!” I reached for him, my voice breaking. “Silas, please!”

But he was gone, swallowed by the shadows, leaving only the echo of his voice. “You never trusted me enough to let me in.”

The weight of it all pressed down, threatening to crush me. This wasn’t just about my father’s legacy or the shadows that marked me. This was about the way I’d hidden, even from the one person who would have fought for me without question. The one who had stood by me without knowing why, just because it was me.

“Why do you hold back?” The shadow voice hissed, curling around my mind like a vice. “What are you so afraid of?”

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I clenched my fists, the words clawing their way out of me, ragged and raw. “I’m afraid of losing him,” I admitted, my voice breaking on the confession. “I’m afraid that if he knew everything, he’d see me as something twisted, something dark.”

The shadows stilled, the hissing voices pausing as if listening, considering.

But then I remembered Silas’s eyes, the unwavering trust, the way he looked at me even when he didn’t understand. The way he chose me, time and time again, without needing reasons.

“No,” I whispered, stronger this time, lifting my head. “He wouldn’t run. He wouldn’t turn away. But I did. I kept him at arm’s length because I was too afraid of what I’d see reflected back. But I know now… it’s not him I should fear. It’s me.”

The room shifted again, the shadows shuddering as if in response to the truth I’d laid bare. My father’s grin faltered, replaced by something colder, something that looked like rage.

“You are not him,” I said, the conviction burning through me, searing the fear that had held me captive. “And I am not you. I am more than the darkness he gave me.”

The shadows roared, writhing as they closed in, testing me, daring me to falter. But I stood firm, the Garnet against my collarbone flaring to life, a pulse of light that pushed back against the dark. I stood taller, the realization burning through me like fire. The shadow-Silas, still cloaked in pain and doubt, walked back from the darkness looking back at me with eyes that no longer belonged to the Silas I knew. They were haunted, filled with echoes of the secrets and silences I’d kept.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stepped toward him, my heart clenching at the hurt I’d caused, even if unintentionally. The whispers of the shadows intensified, their hissing voices urging me to look away, to retreat back into the safety of denial. But I wouldn’t. Not this time.

“I’m not him,” I whispered, my voice gaining strength with each word. “I am not my father, and I will never be him. I am more than the darkness I inherited, more than the fear that’s kept me silent.” The shadow-Silas watched, his expression softening as if he, too, was waiting for the words I’d never spoken aloud.

I reached out, fingers trembling as they hovered near his face. “No more secrets,” I said, voice breaking on the promise. “I will never hurt Silas or anyone I love ever again. I choose to be better, to be more than the echoes of my father’s cruelty.”

The shadows around me roared, coiling tighter, as if trying one last time to suffocate the resolve burning in my chest. But I refused to falter. I wouldn’t let them have that power over me. Not when I was so close.

A shudder ran through me, and I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “And I forgive myself,” I whispered, the words raw and heavy as the honesty rang through the air. “For the times I let fear and silence hurt him. For the moments I let my father’s poison dictate who I was. I’m done letting it control me.”

The shift was immediate. The grip of the shadows loosened, their hold shattering as if my declaration had splintered their very essence. The shadow-Silas blinked, eyes clearing, no longer a figment of my guilt but a reflection of the real Silas who would stand by me, unwavering and true.

The hissing voices stilled, the shadows dissolving around me until there was nothing but light—a warm, pulsing glow that filled the space where the darkness had once been. I gasped, feeling the weight lift from my chest, the suffocating fear replaced with a fierce, unyielding sense of freedom.

When I opened my eyes, I was back in the living room. The glow of the candles flickered, casting soft, dancing shadows against the walls. Silas was watching me, worry carved deep into his features, but when our gazes met, the tension in his eyes softened.

“I know what I have to do,” I whispered, feeling the final remnants of the darkness slip away, leaving only the echo of one undeniable truth and the burning sensation on the back of my hand, letting me know my mark was darkening.

I was not my father. I would never be him. Never again.